Written by victor nicholas
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Sunday, 21 December 2008

image for Door Company asks Jehovah Witness to Test Doors
"Who could that be at the door?"

Warroad Minnesota - The Ames Door Company, entering its' 100th year of production this year, is recognized a national leader in the design and production of residential doors. Their premier product, the Diplomat, is a top-of-the-line Pennsylvania oak six-panel door and frame, prized by home builders, that is shipped across the country in the companies' fleet of famous orange semi-trailers.

Always known for their handsome fit and finish, Ames Doors have become the industry standard for durability as well.

Company spokesman Neil Nedsum explained. "We have to design to a wide variety of climatic requirements however we have found the most universal and demanding requirement for any door is its ability to withstand repeated slamming in the face of Jehovah Witnesses."

"To meet the needs of our clients we have Jehovah Witnesses on staff as testers. They start out as you might expect, knocking on doors in pairs, usually with one feigning a disability to evoke sympathy, carrying copies of the Watchtower."

"We've hired angry housewives to answer the doors and just do what comes naturally. We keep them over-caffeinated and have them work double-duty as company day-care workers to keep it real."

"Doors are tested to 10,000 cycles so this amounts to a lot of work by our testing department."

Head of the Jehovah Witness testing department Ishmael Smits says "You have to have the right kind of nose for this kind of work."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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