Tel Aviv - President Bush plans to cement his legacy a president by making a commitment, on behalf of the United States, to establish a homeland for the Shoes.
Sparked by an apparently senseless act of violence at a recent press conference "Dubya" has been galvanized into action. He has vowed to dedicate his remaining days in office "to benefit the poor unfortunate Shoes around the world that have served man so well throughout the ages yet have been treated with such cruelty and disrespect."
"History tells us the story of the Shoes."
"We owe so much to these poor downtrodden pieces of clothing that have allowed civilization to progress throughout the ages."
"They have served us so willingly without complaint yet mankind has treated them in such a cruel and disrespectful manner."
"Over and over again, whenever bad economic times or the plague tormented man it was always the Shoes who were the first to be blamed."
"I plan on staking my place in history as the first president to stand up and object to this injustice."
"It is time that America and the world stands up and supports the Shoes in their struggle for a homeland."