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Friday, 19 December 2008

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New York NY: A consortium of pharmaceutical companies has announced that a new male enhancement tablet is currently being test marketed in various US cities. A marketing spokesperson said that "the purpose of this real world testing is to "work out the kinks in the product."

The product formulation consists of equal parts Viagra, Cialis and modified Mighty Putty. Mighty Putty is a quick setting, epoxy based bonding material. The modification allows control of the epoxy hardening agent via wireless command signals. The signal is generated by a small device, similar to a car door or a garage door opener remote control device, called a Fob. The modified Mighty Putty responds to cause Hard (on) Soft (off) control, or what engineers call a "Band-Bang" System.

Testing has shown that the Fob, when carried in a pocket, can be accidently activated. Embarrassing incidents have been reported at company board meetings and presentations being made to large audiences of women. Similarly, the proximity to cell phone towers, Internet cafes and other Fob users has also caused inadvertent activation by spurious signal radiation. The resulting effect is the equivalent of a car alarm (alternating horn blowing and silence) or a garage door constantly going up and down. Onstar has reported an accident, where the driver of a Porsche sports car with a seven speed gearbox grabbed the wrong lever and tried to shift gears.

The marketing spokesman said that "the designer of the Fob was indeed a real bonehead in not making the activation signal unique to each user, so as to avoid any unwanted interference. A Mute button is also being considered." The tablet is only to be taken once a day in the morning, such that the product slogan is to be "Ready When You Are." A product name has not yet been chosen. The marketing spokesman commented further that "the name PPod has been ruled out because of possible patent infringement litigation. A naming contest is to be held, prior to full product release."

Food and Drug Administration (FDA) officials have said that "final approval is pending, until additional testing is complete and no subsequent boners are discovered."

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