New York - (Humunguous Ass Mess): America's First Lady-elect Michelle Obama has been honored with Time of the Month magazine's ultimate accolade.
The forty-something mother of two has been awarded the issue's annual Red Rag to a Bull gong in the fabled PMS or Psychopathic Mistress Slayer category.
"Mrs O has dedicated her professional life to the removal of obstacles in her husband's career," the citation notes, "especially the leggy, 36DD-24-36 brunette type.
"Not since Nancy Reagan's Oscar-quality performance about Ronnie's myriad under-age peccaddilos has there been a worthier winner."
The alluring and scantily-clad Mrs Obama is pictured on the magazine's front cover adjusting her halo with one hand while covering a Gore-stained dagger with the other.
Joe Biden is fucking nutz.
(With special Yuletide thanks to Jalapenoman)