Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 20 December 2008

image for A Man Offers His Daughter As A Reward To Bush's 'Shoe Tosser'
Faquisha Judeh, 24, has been offered by her father to Muntazer al-Zaidi (aka 'The Shoe Tosser')

NABLUS, West Bank - The head of a Palestinian West Bank family has offered the Iraqi journalist who threw the two shoes at President Bush a reward.

Ahmad Salim Judeh, 75, has offered Muntazer al-Zaidi a fantastic gift which consists of his youngest daughter Faquisha, 24. And along with his beautiful daughter, Judeh is also including her dowry.

The western world is amazed that Mr. Judeh could do such a thing. But a reporter for The Nablus News Review Muhammad Ahming said, "Hey, folks it is just a traditional Middle Eastern custom. Much as in America where people stalk Easter bunnies and then mercilessly steal their eggs...it is much the same thing."

Many people were wondering what the dowry includes, other than of course a fantastically sexy-looking woman who if not a '10' is about as damn close to a '10' as a woman could get.

Orville Twiggs, an investigative reporter with The Cleveland Morning World Globe traveled to Nablus to meet with Mr. Judeh and get some answers to the dozens of questions that the western world is asking.

And Twiggs quickly learned that Mr. Judeh is very well off financially. He made his money in the Camel Lot business. He started off 50 years ago with one little lot that would barely hold three camels.

And today that little company The Camelot Camel Lot Company has grown to become the biggest Camel Lot franchise not only in the Middle East but in the entire world.

Judeh proudly boasts, "I now have over 2,000 parking lots in Palestine, Syria, Jordan, Peru, Egypt, Japan, and Iran. And all of the lots together can accomodate a total of 600,000 adult camels."

Camel Two-Hump Monthly magazine has named Judeh it's "2008 Man of The Year." This award is not only extremely prestigious, but the winner also receives $85,000 cash, $3,000 in camel cleaning products, a 180 inch big screen TV, and a week-end date with the reigning queen of The Yearly Camel Neutering Festival.

The Kalahari Desert Hour Glass Review a grocery store publication, has revealed that Judeh is the richest man in Palestine. And financial records show that Judeh has ten times more money that the number two man Latakia Tartus Jr. owner and of founder of The Terribly Terrific Tartus Sandblasting Service Company

When Mr. Judeh was asked what his daughter's dowry included he stated, "The dowry includes many goodies as you American's say. Things like a diamond encrusted potato peeler, a solid gold plated cigarette lighter, and an official NFL football personally autographed by Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo.

Other dowry items include a very valuable collection of baseball bubblegum rookie cards, a kite that once belonged to Benjamin Franklin, and a pair of Jessica Simpson's pink bikini thong panties that she wore in The Dukes of Hazzard movie. I personally bought them from Tony Romo for $137.

And perhaps one of the most interesting items in the dowry is a case of condoms made from the most expensive material known to man. This product called allabingushka-7 is extremely rare and is only found in the left nipples of female sardines that inhabit the Gulf of Carpentaria in Australia."

So the civilized world is now patiently waiting to see if Muntazer al-Zaidi will take Mr. Judeh up on his offer. Orville Twiggs of The Cleveland Morning World Globe said that he personally interviewed 2,000 Palestinian males between the ages of 21 and 31.

And he noted that each and everyone said that if Muntazer al-Zaidi does not take Mr. Judeh up on his offer of his beautifully gorgeous daughter Faquisha, then al-Zaidi is either stupid, dumb, ignorant, or else he is one of those 'guys' that ride sidesaddle on a camel.

When Mr. Judeh was asked to remark he said, "Okey dokey, I shall. And I will address this directly to Mr. Muntazer al-Zaidi. I am a big fan of American cliches. And I will make use of one of my favorite ones. Muntazer, my friend...'the camel balls are in your courtroom.'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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