Written by linda warnke
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Topics: Drugs

Friday, 19 December 2008

image for Pharmaceuticals Giant Demands Apology From FDA For Banned Drugs
Vileoxx - Swallow one tablet and all your pain goes away...

Pharmaceutical giant Smerck publicly demanded an apology from the Food and Drug Administration for it's actions in banning the drug Vileoxx. The drug manufacturer also wanted to take the opportunity to get a few other things off it's chest, things that have been bothering it lately.

"You know, it's not exactly easy to bring a drug to market," says Smerck. "There's years of research and development, clinical trials, the whole ad and marketing campaign, all of which takes time and money. And what do we get in return? Criticism. And this from a bunch of 9-5 seat-warmers who wouldn't know a beta-blocker if it came up and bit them in the ass!"

The visibly upset pharmaceutical corporation went on to say. "No matter what we do lately, there's just no pleasing you. We slave all day over a hot centrifuge to put a nice drug on the market and all you can do is find fault! There was nothing wrong with Vileoxx, it may not have been perfect, but then, you are? Ha! That's a laugh!"

"Oh, and thanks a lot for giving the ok to Verabid. Do you even remember Verabid? It treats amniochondriticoma...great. There's like 11 people on the entire PLANET who have that-yeah, we're gonna make out like bandits on that one! So, thanks again...for NOTHING!"

"And you know, we're getting a little sick and tired of hearing about how great Pfhazer is. It's "Pfhazer this", and "Pfhazer that", Pfhazer, Pfhazer, Pfhazer! If Pfhazer's so great, why don't you have THEM make your precious Verabid?"

The drug maker paused briefly to wipe a tear from it's eye, then went on to say, "All we want is a little respect and appreciation. Is that too much to ask?"

Pfhazer could not be reached for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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