Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 18 December 2008

image for US Paralysed By Freak Weather Conditions - Something Fishy Going On Here Says Bill O'Reilly
Kid Wades Through Blancmange To Get To Blockbuster - Fort Lauderdale FLA Three Minutes Ago

In a day of unprecedented weather 'strangeness' TV anchor Bill O'Reilly stated categorically that in his opinion,'Something fishy is going on here.'

As indeed there was.

Buffalo NY was left reeling under a nonsensical anchovy downpour, which was also pretty inexplicable but left downtown neighborhoods knee deep in salty tasting, fishy smelling, pizza topping deposits that rose to knee deep in some areas.

Compton, Los Angeles, CA erupted in sheer panic when up to four inches of custard rained down on the hood without warning. Police and gang bangers alike were said to be terrified by the ferocity of the milk and egg based meteorological downpours. Traffic was at a standstill.

Boston MA was ravaged by sudden downpours of nail files, which although not dangerous in themselves 'could result in vanity dilemmas' claimed Police Chief Dermot For The Grace O' God Go I.

The midwest didn't escape lightly, as Kansas City MO. was rocked and absolutely pounded by gale force winds of up to 3 miles per hour, which in some areas reportedly stirred up dust.

In the deep South people tended to await their fate philosophically. 'What will be, will be,' said Pastor Winston Lincoln, of the 'Church Of Not Quite Right In The Head People Who Invite Venemous Snakes To Bite Them Before Running To The Nearest Emergency Room In Panic'

'There's definitely something fishy going on here,' said Bill O'Reilly. 'What can we expect next? Snow in Canada?'

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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