In a treacherous attack on President-reject Bush while he was on a farewell tour of Iraq (known there as a 'Good Riddance' tour), an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at him during a speech.
"This shows how poor things have gotten here." said Muntazer al-Zaidi from his cell at Abu Ghraib. He looked tired and cold after a night of humiliating nude photographing by bored, decadent American guards. "I didn't even have the money for a decent vest bomb. If I did I would have taken care of this whole Iraqi war thing with one blow."
"I had nothing for a weapon when I went in. When he made the joke that maybe Saddam stuck the weapons of mass destruction under his bed I couldn't take it anymore. I whipped off the shoes and almost nailed him. You can tell he's in good shape the way he ducked them."
Conspiracy theorists believe that the shoe attack could indicate a new level of terrorist sophistication using murderous odors as a weapon. American soldiers will not be outfitted with Odor Eaters for protection.
Mr. Bush is making a tour of all the places he screwed up during his Presidency to make sure they are as screwed up as possible before he leaves office. He also offered to visit Burma but the people there said "Thanks, but we got all we can handle now!"