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Monday, 15 December 2008

image for Bush throws shoe at Cheney who misses but hits Iraqi reporter instead
Bush slowly removed his shoe, threw it into the crowd and said fuck you Cheney

Baghdad Iraq - US President George.W. Bush's surprise visit to Baghdad on Saturday ceased to be a surprise after he hit a famous journalist with his size 10 shoe.

The president had been accompanied in the visit by his Vice Dick Cheney to witness the signing of a peace agreement between Bush and the Iraqi premier Al Maliki.

"That Cheney guy is so lucky I missed, but I will get him" said a furious Bush after he threw a shoe into the crowd hitting an Iraqi journalist who was seated at the back row next to Vice President Dick Cheney.

"Oh no, sorry, sorry" said Bush. "I intended to hit that SOB, who was making faces at me during my speech. Just hand over the shoe to Condi I'll get it from her"

To avoid further embarrassment and show support for the president, Al Maliki ordered the immediate arrest of Cheney for trying to derail an important event in Iraqi's history.

Dick Cheney, was immediately frogmarched from the room by security staff and locked up in an airtight container before being shipped back to the US.

"But he hit me first, before we left the white house" protested Cheney but no one took him seriously.

CCTV footage in the conference room show that Dick Cheney was making faces at the president while he delivered the address.

"..we understand that his intentions were not to hurt him but to stop him from embarrassing the president during his speech, its a little game they play in the white house when bored. We suspect the smell (probably) from the shoe that made him suffocate and not the blow from the size 10 shoe" said Tom Bradley the lead investigator into the scandal.

On his part Bush thanked the Iraqi prime minister and people for "standing on his side, in the face of a humiliating scandal"

"It doesn't bother me that Cheney fainted. If you want the facts, it was a size 10 shoe that I threw, and it was not smelly as Cheney would want you to believe, blame it all on him - here smell it". Bush added as he waved his shoe to the crowd before handing it to Al Maliki to confirm that "it was free from suffocating gas"

Playing down the incident, the vice president Cheney later added: "I don't know what the guy's cause is... I didn't feel the least bit threatened by it, the hot air that his shoe released made me faint.....the guy wants to gas me. Thank God it didn't work"

NCN international later reported that Iraqi government labs had proved that the source of the gas that suffocated Cheney was from his own stomach and not President Bush's shoe as he had earlier claimed.

"He may have done it out of panic, then came the gas. It's reflex action" NCN reported.

To crown the matter, Cheney's family doctor added "Rarely does he release such gases unless provoked by constant winks from people he dislikes. Bush must have winked at him several time to elicit such a response.

The doctor apologized on behalf of the vice president's family and wished the 10 journalist that fell along with Cheney (due to the gas) a quick recovery. In the meantime, the peace deal that had brought Bush to Iraqi has been canceled until the new president Barack Obama is sworn in to avoid further embarrassment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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