Liberals everywhere rejoiced at the new that Ann Coulter had her jaw wired shut.
It turns out that the right-wing hate monger broke her money maker and had to have it immobilized. Victims of her scathing, anti-left books and speeches came out of their hiding places to dance in the streets.
There is a suspicion of a left-wing plot to silence all the rightist motor mouths underfoot. Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage and other hate-talk personalities are concerned that their most talented assets- their potty mouths- might be vulnerable to handicapping. Just as Mafiosos used to knee-cap their victims, liberal hit men might be aiming higher.
One of the ironies of the situation is that she is on a speaking tour for her new book 'Guilty'. Her only comments on it so far are "Wurglerap...smothees...craptula... braaap..." and she drooled all over herself just saying that. It was noticed that the normally slim Ms. Coulter was almost invisible from having to survive from drinking Cokes, raspberry daiquiries and Bloody Mary's.
At a news conference today, top liberal pundits took cruel pleasure in going up to Ms. Coulter and telling her to her face what a dried up skank she was. Annie, unable to make any other retort than heated gurgles, was livid. Her face turned red, her eyes bulged out, then finally her head exploded scattering bits of diseased brain tissue around the room.
Then the liberals had even more to celebrate about.