Texas teen Natalie Holloway was recovering last night after emerging from under the desk of On The Record host Greta Van Susteren where she has been held captive for the last three years.
Holloway, whose disappearance has been the subject of a relentless media campaign, was said to be 'coming along nicely', according to state appointed psychiatrist Deepak Kalpoe.
Fox News has suspended the only blonde on the network with any brains amidst rumours that, in order to boost ratings, she decided to arrange the kidnapping of a Christian, blonde, white cheerleader and milk her vanishing act 'for at least seven years'.
"Detectives are looking into it", stated a Fox spokesman last night. "What we do know is that Holloway was fed only leftovers from Bill O'Reilly's lunch and that, curiously, Greta doesn't wear any pants.I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are!"
Natalie's mother Twitty 'Pie' Holloway, said she felt 'relieved, but betrayed'. "To think that Natalie was under there that whole time...it's just...just sick. I mean, I appeared on the show a few times and sometimes I fought I saw a putty cat...under her desk. And then I'd go home and think to myself, 'I did see a putty cat! I did!' I had no idea it was Nathalie."
One man who is disappointed with the discovery is main suspect and alleged sociopath Joran Van Der Sloot: "Does this mean that I won't get to be on TV anymore? Damn!...Oh well...it was fun."
Van Susteren poured further fuel on the fire with her suspicious statement when taken into custody:
"I needed something entertaining on the show. Do you think I want to spend my life interviewing Sarah Palin?"