Residents of small town America today witnessed an extraordinarily amazing feat. A superhero of giant proportions attempted an epic feat, to rescue the world from all of it's problems.
Eyewitnesses say that as the world struggled with vice, degradation and greed Micro-man jumped into action and did absolutely nothing.
"Since he was a superhero, we were waiting for him to do something and that man did absolutely nothing," said farmer Elmer Fudge who was hunting deer in a nearby field.
"In fact, it wasn't so much what this superhero did that got everyone's attention, it was what he didn't do that made heads roll," said Johnson Clayton a spokesperson for the Person County Sheriff's Department.
Micro-man was not seen in court today being tried for shooting another human being. He did not need to be handcuffed. He was not seen jet-setting around the country trying to find another loan. Micro-man did not have a carbon footprint, or a multi-million dollar severance package from a Fortune 500 company. He didn't cook the books, own an SUV, or live in suburbia. He didn't have a 120 mile round-trip commute, never married and didn't even drive a car.
Micro-man didn't take steroids, or get his girlfriend pregnant. He didn't drive a Ford F150 pick-up truck. He didn't have a subscription to cable, didn't watch the NFL, didn't have a 401 K, or a Blackberry, or a smoke Cuban cigar. Micro-man wasn't a terrorist, didn't command a military, didn't start fights and he didn't go to church and call somebody a liar.
Micro-man was not on the Mayflower, did not believe in heaven or hell and did not throw people overboard and call them witches and wait to see if they floated. Micro-man didn't cause forest fires, he didn't condemn rock-n-roll, and wasn't a scientist either.
Eyewitnesses say that they were astonished by Micro-man's inaction and said that a team of scientists had been deployed to investigate the phenomenon.