WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama announced on Thursday that his administration will quickly legalize marijuana.
"I am preparing to end the costly and pointless federal raids on marijuana users," said Obama between drags from a large roach at a White House press conference. "In fact, we shall completely legalize marijuana."
Astonished reporters heard the dramatic announcement and were invited to light up and smoke by a smiling Hillary and Bill Clinton at a table at the back of the press room.
Yet Obama had previously given indications that he would decriminalize the weed.
"The Justice Department's going after sick individuals using this as a palliative instead of going after serious criminals makes no sense," Obama had said in New Hampshire last year. In 2004, he favored the decriminalization of pot altogether.
Then on the day Obama was elected, voters in Michigan, by a 63-37 margin, added their state to 12 others that have approved medical marijuana laws since California broke the ground in 1996. The same day, Massachusetts voters approved a measure that decriminalized possession of small amounts of pot.
"Both votes helped me get off the fence at last," Obama added as reporters and the Clintons got stoned.
"Our nation is sick and marijuana will help us ease the pain as we recover. The medical benefits of mary jane are substantial."
"No longer must we fear the myth of 'reefer madness,' stated Hillary, referring to the manufactured lie of Hollywood, newspapers and the FBI that pot drove users to rape, murder and mayhem.
"The misallocation of our police and judicial system to arresting and prosecuting pot users has been enormous," added Bill. "OMG this is good shit."
According to the FBI, of the nation's 1.8 million drug busts in 2007 were 775,000 for simple possession of marijuana for personal use.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire