Washington DC-- A familiar face is helping the Obamas move into the White House. Barack Obama's first cousin, Morticia Addams is busy at work. Obama's grandparents were Uncle Fester and Aunt Angina. Morticia plans a lot of changes for the landmark house and is already making her mark.
"We're painting the outside black, of course!" said Morticia. "White is so dreary and depressing, no wonder there's been such unhappiness there." she said.
Pugsley Addams is helping to redesign the Oval Office. Pugsley grew up to be a nuclear physicist, brain surgeon, and an inter dimensional being.
"An oval is so two-dimensional and boring." sighed Morticia. "Pugsley is designing a four-dimensional cube for the office instead. Think of all the extra room Barack will have!" she exclaimed.
Lurch is still alive and will butler for the Obamas.
"What a fine additional to the staff he'll make! Just think of the impression he'll make on world leaders when they come to visit. He can also help out Cousin Barack with his speeches. Lurch is very verbally gifted!" she said proudly.
Morticia has already done some work on the Rose Garden for the Obamas.
"We ripped the roses out, of course. The thorns were too small. It's been replaced by hen-bane and nightshade. I'm sure Michelle and the little girls will enjoy a freshly brewed cut of tea now and then. Great-grandmama has offered to cook for the family too. We are so excited for our cousins!" she boasted.
Morticia hopes there will be another Great Depression very soon in the country.
"Gomez is advising Ben Bernanke and Henry Paulson. You can see the results already! The last Great Depression was so charming! 2009 looks like a great year!" she smiled.