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Topics: Funeral

Thursday, 10 June 2004

image for GOP's new secret weapon to help George Bush
"I die weekly for the GOP."

Weekly Reagan Funeral to be announced

Washington, DC-- Republicans will announce today their new secret weapon in their bid to boost George Bush's falling poll ratings: The Ronald Reagan funeral will be held weekly. "Ever since Reagan died, Bush's approval rating have jumped, so this is the most logical thing," said GOP chairman Ed ("Wild Man") Gillespie.

"Reagan served in his country's military by acting in movies. Since that parallels George W. Bush's military career of hiding from reality, we think nothing but Reagan's glory could rub off on Bush," he added.

Some critics we dubious. "There's a serious risk of over-exposure," said Democratic comedian John Kerry, "but since no one will know that the caskets will be empty, I think they've got a shot."

Gillespie retorted, "And we've go plenty in the Federal budget for extra horses for the funerals." He denied that the increase in the horse budget had anything to do with the reduction in financing for bullets for the Iraq war.

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