Ny/NY / Campaign Times - The Clintons announced today they are facing another JOINT Political crisis. This time it involves their "empty" wallet and not one of their wayward penises!
Following a Spoof Scoop of Aug. 24, 2008, "Hillary Broke! Foreclosures and Bankruptcy Looms: Bill No Help!" , it appears that now, realizing a real sense of emergency, Bill is on board to help to solve his wife's financial problems, again with Other People's Money !
A Spokesman for the dysfunctional politically promiscuous pair announced that the former Presidential Candidate, and new Secretary of State, owes $7.5M on her campaign debt, and it must be paid before January 20 or she'll be forced to declare bankruptcy.
US laws prohibit appointed officials from continuing to raise money to pay off campaign debts while performing their duties in non elected Cabinet positions
At first the Clinton's were skeptical, as neither had heard of the term "Conflict of Interest" before. Certainly the term is also alien to other Democrat Hacks Pelosi, Murtha, Dodd, Wrangle (sic) who continue to perfect the art of self dealing under the guise of serving the American Taxpayer.
It wasn't until the Clintons hired an independent Ethics professional, Rev. Al Sharpton , and attended several of his lectures, that the matter was finally clarified for them, at least until they received financial help.
In a rare show of conjugal togetherness, Bill Clinton sent a letter to all Obama contributors urging Dems to get on the Bandwagon Bailout for his wife, and even supplied a handy Web Site Address, "Tax Payers for Hillary" to make on line contributions.
Apparently, the hundreds of millions the Clintons have received for bogus "tell all" political books, mysterious millions in contributions from the Arab world, and murky "Finder's Fees" for under the table facilitation of questionable business deals by the former President has just not been enough.
To further ingratiate herself to Congress, and the American Taxpayer, Hillary flew to the Congressional Bail Out hearing on her American Made Solar Powered BROOM, foregoing any criticism for flying in on one of the Clinton Library planes donated by Somali Pirates or terrorist Mullahs.
Sworn in before the hearings, Hillary pledged, and Bill agreed, that if they received the money for debt relief, "They would NEVER AGAIN run for public office" A spokesman said after the hearing, that of course " they would have no choice if it became clear that they were the the people's choice" if after 4 years of Obamonomics a popular mandate propelled them back into politics.