A deranged golfer has run amuk into the middle of Nilton, Alabama, population 559, and killed everyone he saw with a Big Bertha 460 Driver according to several people who fled the Sammage Shop on Main Street.
Blood and eyes and more than one mustache, a couple of eyebrows, some sideburns are still being cleaned off things on the street by the street-cleaning lady and also some stray dogs and a few fairly tame buzzards.
Victims were heard to shout "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT BIG BERTHA 460 DRIVER?" just before the attacker got them with the "Sweet Spot".
Others yelled other things but no one could understand them because the first swing had smashed their tater traps.
Several onlookers right out on Main Street, however, did not comment at all because they were all dead even though their eyes were still open.
Brian Jenkins told police that the person looked like Amos Moses Howard but he was too busy fighting him off with his Taylormade r7 CGB Max Driver with graphite shaft.
Meanwhile the police have warned the whole county area to report anyone seen bashing people heads in with a Big Bertha 460 Driver!