Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Economy, Cars, bailout

Saturday, 29 November 2008

image for Congress, Can You Spare $25 Billion?
"Who killed the electric car?

Seems like the heads of General Motors, Chrysler and Ford each flew in separate private corporate jets to Washington D.C. asking Congress for a tax-payer bailout. Marching before Senate and House committees, they expected to get a few billion from Congress and fly home singing, "Mission accomplished! Pass the champagne. Bring on the end of year bonuses."

Not so fast, boys.

Huh, you talking to us? Of all the nerve! We didn't come here to negotiate. Just give us the money. We've got corporate jets revving on the tarmac.

Gentlemen, switch off your engines.

With empty pockets and hands outstretched, the three gentlemen were asked why they didn't plane pool down in one corporate jet and fly together, or downgrade from corporate jet and fly first class on a commercial airline. While it is difficult to get one's mind around first class as a downgrade, a better suggestion/question might have been why they didn't drive from Detroit to D.C. in one of their drunken gas guzzling SUV's. The three could have taken turns behind the wheel, or pulled over at a nifty rest-stop, shaved in the bathrooms, splashed on some Aqua Velva, refill the java mugs and continue their trip to D.C.. Or, they could have gone to Washington by Greyhound bus, "...and leave the driving to us."

Back in 1990, (while George's father was President) General Motors, beholden to the oil industry, wanted to prove there was no demand for fuel efficient electric cars. General Motors (same company asking for a bailout) produced the EV1 electric car which was made available by lease in Southern California. One hundred EV1 automobiles were made and snapped up by drivers who loved the car. Actor Tom Hanks had one. Failing to disprove the popularity of the electric car, General Motors recalled all one hundred cars, disposing of the them in secret by having each electric car crushed.

So, instead of the auto companies renewing their bailout plea before Congress on December 2, maybe they should consider going directly to their beholden oil companies - Shell, Chevron, British Petroleum, etc. - "...and leave the bailout to them."

After all, auto makers have made the oil industry zillions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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