Written by Aspartame Boy

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Topics: Aspartame, greed

Saturday, 29 November 2008

image for Mall$Wart Says Bring it On
Customers Getting Ready to Stomp Mall*Wart Staff

CHERRY HILLS, New Jersey - Despite the latest casualties in the 'Greeding' of America (wherein hundreds died in a stampede when aspartame was placed on steep discount) Mall$Wart CEO Clyde Homely says "Bring it On."

Infamous for his draconian uniform policy (Mall$Wart employees must wear shirts with the phrase 'Step On Me' on their backs), Clyde Homely continued, "You can count on an exciting shopping experience at Mall$Wart. Some people just come to see our employees trampled to death. So I say, 'Bring it on', we got plenty more high school drop outs left to run over.

"Sure, we just lost 436 of them in various stores around the country, but don't think for a minute that the fun times have ended at Mall$Wart. Why, there are still more than 20 shopping days till Xcrass!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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