Written by Bureau
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Topics: Theft

Friday, 28 November 2008

image for Thieves Use Big Gob Of Phlegm To Steal Ring

In Fort Lauderdale, Florida yesterday, police said a thief used a huge hocker to swipe an expensive ring off an elderly woman's hand in broad daylight. Authorities said two men bumped 81-year-old Gertrude Hagglemeire's car, then asked her to open her trunk to check for any damage.

Police said the suspect kept apologizing for the trouble and gave the old woman two hundred dollar to cover any slight damage. He then picked up her hand and gave it a long kiss.

"I thought he was being so nice", stated Mrs Hagglemiere, "He just kept clearing his throat and apologizing. But as they drove away, quite hurriedly, I noticed this big globby hocker on my hand and that my ring was missing."

It's then she notified the police who now believe the thief slipped the ring off Hagglemeire's finger by slicking it down with a big greasy chunk of phlegm. The piece of jewelry was valued between $20,000 to $30,000.

No arrests in the incident have been made.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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