Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: George W. Bush

Friday, 28 November 2008

image for Barbara Bush hospitalized on news that her son, George W. Bush, will be moving back home with her after he leaves office
Old Mrs. Barns uncovers the secrets of the Bush legacy

Washington, D.C. - Rushed to the emergency room shortly after receiving a phone call from the President of the United States, Barbara Bush, was hospitalized earlier this week and later released, her condition remains guarded, however, especially in light of her diagnoses: stomach ulcers.

"The President's mother is resting comfortably at home in her own bed," said a spokesman for Barbara Bush.

The Bush family denies that her medical condition was brought about by the news of her son, George W. Bush, decision to go back home to live with his parents instead of returning to his ranch in Texas.

"It's not true that Mrs. Bush suddenly dropped the phone, grabbed at her stomach, doubled over, falling out of her chair and onto the floor just because her son told her to get his old bedroom ready that he was coming home," said the spokesman. "That was merely a coincidence."

According to friends of the family and neighbors, however, the first thing Mrs. Bush did when she returned from the hospital was to clear out her son's bedroom and hold a yard sale.

"She put everything out on the driveway and put up a sign saying, 'Any reasonable offer accepted.", said Old Mrs. Barns a neighbor to the Bush family for years. "I knew the President when he was a little boy. He would always get into such trouble even then. In fact, we all use to call him 'Curious George' because he would be eavesdropping in the conversations of the other kids in the neighborhood."

Old Mrs. Barns then pointed with her cane to one of the boxes that held two tin cans tied together with a string, a common childhood makeshift toy telephone. Then pushing back the lid of the cardboard box, she exposes something more sinister: a barely visible piece of fishing line tied to the string between the two tin cans and connected to a third camouflage tin can.

"Yup, there wasn't a birthday party, sleepover or secret tree house club meeting 'Curious George' didn't know about in the neighborhood," said Old Mrs. Barns. "Why even adults got into the habit of whispering when 'Curious George' was around."

All throughout the yard sale, Mrs. Bush was repeatedly interrupted by phone calls from the President begging her not sell his stuff.

"That's 'Curious George' calling again," said Old Mrs. Barns. "He's trying to convince Barbara not sell his stuff, calling it his legacy and telling her she's supposed to save it for his Presidential Library."

Among the boxes filled with toys reflecting the various interests of a growing child, one clearly showed a transition into puberty, distinguishing it from the rest and something else, something that would seem to explain the past eight years of the controversial so-call Bush Doctrine, if not the man himself.

In it were copies of old Playboy magazines, an autographed first edition copy the book, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" and the floor plan to the Dallas Book Depository with gun sites clearly marked out in red ink.

And way at the bottom was a strange piece of silvery-gray metal with hieroglyphic markings. All wrapped up in old yellow newspaper from Roswell, New Mexico. The headline read something about a weather balloon crashing out in the dessert.

"He was just a boy when his father took him camping out there," said Old Mrs. Barns as she shuffled the tip of her cane through the contents of the box, uncovering the unearthly triangular shaped metal. "I remember because all 'Curious George' kept saying when he came back was: 'Take me to your leader. Take me to your leader. Take me to your leader.' Over and over again, all summer long into the fall, through the winter, spring and well into the summer of the fallowing year. When one day, early Sunday morning, he suddenly stopped. Turning to his mother, right there in the middle of church services, he asked, 'Mama, what's a leader? Poor boy, we never could get him to grasp the concept."

Mrs. Bush's yard sale will continue through Saturday all day and again on Sunday afternoon, right after church services.

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 5?

6 9 20 22
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top