Written by Frank Cotolo
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Topics: marijuana, Ocean

Thursday, 17 November 2005

image for Cattle think they are dolphins while on marijuana
A cow on dope thinks it is a dolphin.

WAKAWAKA TIKI, Hawaii -- There is evidence that some Hawaiian cattle are under the influence of dope and going into the ocean thinking they are dolphins.

Oceanographers studying around the Hawaiian Islands describe the strange situation as exposure to second-hand smoke from terrific Hawaiian-grown marijuana.

"A cattle rancher here has been growing some high-grade weed," said officer Loo Hakabaki, who is working with the oceanographers. "His cattle have been grazing on the crop."

"And what has happened," said oceanographer C. Kenneth Broke, "is that the cattle are having mind-altering experiences. In this case, one or more have obviously been thinking they are dolphins and have set off to pack with the intelligent creatures."

Police arrested the farmer and part-time ukulele player, Donnie Hoo, for growing illegal drugs. At the time of his arrest, Mr. Hoo claimed to be a librarian.

"When the pot wears off," said Broke, "we are afraid the cattle will drown. But while they are under the influence of the drug, they seem to be doing rather well and getting along great with the dolphins."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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