Written by Andrew Howard
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Tuesday, 25 November 2008

image for Pro-Lifers Storm LA Sperm Bank chanting "Demon Seed"
Anti-Abortion Group storms sperm bank chanting "Demon Seed"

As part of a new strategy to link the evils of abortion and masturbation, a group of approximately 30 pro-life protestors were arrested for trespassing and vandalism to the Catholic-run "Our Lady of Comfort" Sperm Bank in downtown LA (*).

LA Police Commissioner, Alan Skobin indicated that the protestors entered the clinic and were viewed destroying medical and office equipment until police arrived. According to one witness, "the strange part was that the vandals had their eyes closed the entire time...they ran into each other while picking up anything they could find to smash on the floor".

Following her arrest, 55-year old LaDonna Paul of St. Claire, MN indicated that "everyone knows them wankers go blind....it's demon seed I'm telling you" in an apparent effort to explain their "no-peeking" rampage adding that the group would not end their efforts until "Jesus, Justice Scalia or Pope Benedict, God bless 'em all, say so".

All three sources declined to be interviewed for this article.

(*) Editor's Note: Please see archival news reports on the unique sponsorship by the Catholic Diocease of Southern California for "Our Lady of Comfort" and it's mission to "Save (male) Catholic masturbators from spilling seed in sin" making reference to Genesis story of Onan, whom God killed, for his practice of coitus interruptus".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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