"Its the only way I can descend stairs!" declared the president in waiting (in bullet-proofed waiting, actually).
His wife Michelle, said angrily "I cant believe you would resort to publishing hurtful stories about my family and their moving from upstairs to downstairs methods, most people use stairs everyday, its just because of who we are that people examine our every step".
A White House insider revealed that plans to install a firemans/lapdance pole in the Oval Office were now on hold. "Barack said he'd always fancied sliding down to his desk every morning, and on the quiet winter evenings his delicious lady could entertain him by frolicking around his pole"
This article has been halted by the Benny Hill Innuendo Police