President Elect Barack Obama, in a candid moment at a Washington D.C. bar, claimed that he has a bigger penis than anyone else ever elected to the office. When told that this was not fully verifiable for the dead presidents, Obama said, "Maybe not always, but let's look at the living ones"
"They didn't call President Carter the Peanut man for nothing!"
"He died only a few years ago, but witnesses say that even though Nixon was a real Dick and had a big pair of brass balls to do the things he did, he was a real pencil dick."
"Monica Lewinsky has publically said that Bill Clinton's was all shriveled up from having to sleep with that ice queen of a wife of his for so many years."
"George Bush Sr. didn't have enough manhood to go after Sadaam and finish what he started in Iraq."
"The movie Bedtime for Bonzo wasn't about the late Ronald Reagan and a monkey, it was what Nancy had to see every night after dark."
"We all know that our current President is trying to over compensate for a lack of manhood."
"I think the only one that could have competed with my was George Washington, because they did call him the Father of our Country. Andrew Jackson might also have had some pretty hard wood because they called him Old Hickory. I', still sure that I've got both of them beat."
When asked about Obama's comments, George W. Bush said "is he talking about my pee pee? Mommy called it my midget gerkin when I was growing up and said Laura says that it does the job for her."
Hillary Clinton was also upset about his comments. "Everyone knows that when Bill was in office, I had the biggest penis in the White House and one huge set of brass balls."