Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Economy

Sunday, 23 November 2008

image for The Nation's Bad Economy Is Now Even Affecting State Mottos
The Arkansas State Capital Building (aka The Good Ol' Bill Building)

SCHENECTADY, New York - The nation's worsening economic situation is causing several states to make all kinds of in-state adjustments and changes. One of the areas involves the state mottos.

Vito Bertazetti, one of the midwestern governors said that his state has been forced to amend its state motto in order for the state to be able to keep up with the harsh economic times.

Listed below are several of the states, their Latin mottos, the mottos' translation, and the motto amendment:

Arizona - Ditat Deus - "God enriches (but the government turns around and takes it)."

Arkansas - Regnat populus - "The people rule (nope, George W. rules)."

California - Eureka - "I have found it (but Uncle Sam wants 30% of it!)."

Maine - Dirigo - "I direct (you to the unemployment office)."

Maryland - Fahi maschi, parole femmine - "Manly deeds, womanly words (and then there's RuPaul)."

Montana - Oro y plata - "Gold and Silver (paper or plastic)?"

New Mexico - Crescit fundo - "It grows as it goes (and if you get caught growing it, it will be 8 to 10 in prison)."

New York - Excelsior - "Ever upward (okay who took the camera?")

Oregon - Alis volat propriis - "She flies with her own wings (that silly little Peter Pan)."

Washington - Al-ki - "By and by (sell and sell)."

In other news, the National Basketball Association has decided against allowing the Minnesota Timberwolves (2-9) to move to Sukkertoppen, Greenland. The NBA said that because of the huge distance involved and the tremendous transportation costs, that hot dogs would have to sell for about $37 each.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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