Chicago, IL- The rumors are not true. Timothy Geithner, who is the head of Federal Reserve Bank of New York, is not Barack Obama's pick for Treasury Secretary. Reports had indicated that Geithner was President-elect Barack Obama's first choice to head the post, but now other rumors are surfacing that show that might not be the case.
The rumors alone sent the stock market spiraling downward, as the media predicts that President-elect Barack Obama will announce later today that he has appointed former NBA star Charles Barkley to be his treasury secretary.
Many of you might remember that Sir Charles has a bit of a gambling problem, racking up $400,000 in debt while gambling at Wynn Las Vegas. Charles Barkley defended himself and said that he was "more qualified than Sarah Palin," who spent "$250,000 on clothes from Needless Mark Up."
Mr. Barkley, who is going to run for Governor of Alabama in the near future, went on the attack.
"At least I wouldn't gamble our money away on cheap crap from China, job killing trade policies, sub-prime home loans and and gas guzzling dinosaurs," Barkley said in a press conference. He continued "I'm all in, Ms. McCain. Of course I can bet the state of Utah. Hey, think of it this way. Your Budweiser plant will supply the Mormons with tons of new jobs."
President-elect Barack Obama released a statement saying that he chose Barkley to be part of his team of rivals, saying "The SOB owes me money, and I want change. And a check wouldn't be bad, either."