Written by matwil
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Saturday, 22 November 2008

image for Obama: 'I'll Be Sending Bush To Guantanamo'
'If Balack says go to the Bay of Piglets, then I won't be a hog in a manger'

President-to-be Barack Obama today said: 'The first thing I'll be doing as President will be sending George W Bush to Guantanamo Bay, for crimes against the English language. For eight years this country has suffered from a serious lack of sensible grammar, it's suffered from words being invented on the spot, along with impossible subclauses and tautologies, and it's suffered from Ted Kennedy's huge red nose, but we can't blame Mr. Bush for that one.'

President Bush himself had this to say about the decision: 'Well sure, Balack has a point to make as a new President. And his policies are a point. It's only right that he should sell me on Ebay, as I need to end my Presidency the way I started it, with dignity and diplomacity, with courage and with braveries, with the conviction that I am convicted for life. Heck, when those weapons of mass destruction turn up my great-great-grandson will be King of America! Enjoy your ten minutes of fame, Senator Ollama, we need a Democrat Prez every few decades to blame our own lies and mistakes on, like Clinton and Carter', and realising he'd actually talked sense for a few seconds President Bush started making yeehaw hillbilly noises, and then fell over his own shoelaces.

Guantanamo authorities issued a formal protest against Senator Obama's decision, saying 'If our inmates weren't training to be suicide bombers before, they'll soon become suicidal having to listen to Bush all day long. Unless Mr. Obama decides to let all the prisoners go, then we can put George in solitary for the next 30 years, though the guards here will need earphones and regular psychotherapy to cope with the ordeal.'

Steve McQueen was already desperately planning to escape from Guantanamo, to avoid having to share a cell with the President: 'I thought listening to Dustin Hoffman's squeaky, whining voice was bad enough, but having George as a cellmate ... help me tie these bamboo sticks together, will ya?' President Bush will be inducted into the Mrs. Malaprop Hall of Fame later this year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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