Written by PP Rega
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Topics: New York

Saturday, 22 November 2008

image for The Next Senator from New York is...
Under consideration

New York Governor David A. Paterson is said to be looking for a native New Yorker to assume Hillary Rodham Clinton's Senate seat should she be offered and accepts the Secretary of State position in the Obama Cabinet.

"I am sick and tired of charlatans and carpetbaggers coming from other states and becoming a Senator from the Empire State," complained Paterson to his cronies.

He has told his subordinates that he is looking for any New Yorker, Republican or Democrat, politician or otherwise, with the intelligence, integrity, and gravitas needed for this important position. As a result, the Governor's staff has been looking high and low all over New York State to locate anyone with these essential traits.

In order to be as comprehensive as possible and avoid the wrath of Paterson, they have even resorted to studying and evaluating New Yorkers who no longer occupy the present political limelight, but have had a reputation of honesty and competence and have enjoyed the affection and respect of the nation.

As a result, here are the names of native New Yorkers that Governor Paterson is now considering:

1) Alfred E. Smith
2) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
3) Fiorello La Guardia
4) Walt Whitman
5) Lucille Ball
6) Jonas Salk
7) Theodore Roosevelt
8) Eleanor Roosevelt
9) Norman Rockwell
10) Charles Evans Hughes
11) Julia Ward Howe
12) Lou Gehrig
13) Paddy Chayefsky
14) Benjamin N. Cardozo
15) Chico, Harpo, and Groucho Marx

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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