WASHINGTON - A large clump of mysterious so-called dark matter was seen floating in a toilet, scientists said on Wednesday.
Scientists think perhaps 25 percent of the dark matter is made up of shit, which responds to gravity the same way as does regular regular shit.
While the stuff is thought to be strewn from the anus, it is poorly understood. Scientists have struggled to find any solid evidence of dark matter after flushing, and a new study could represent a major step forward in that effort.
The scientists said it is possible that the dark matter detected in this research may have been produced by an anal source -- perhaps a shitting arse called an anus that emits a beam of dark matter, a medium-sized black lump or the remnants of a vindaloo.