Written by For'Nique
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Topics: Florida

Tuesday, 8 June 2004

image for Florida Elects Another "DumbAss" For Prezodent
DUMBASS: A Man of the People

Happy Shops convenience store mopping supervisor, Bubba Domas ("DumbAss"), was recently voted Prezodent of the Crestview Trailer Park Cooperative, LLC ("CTP"). This election will have great resonance in the small Florida community as nearly everybody in Crestview lives in a trailer home. Also affected will be small businesses (all run from trailer homes) recently included under CTP's umbrella, including the First National Bank of Crestview, and the "Burning-Cross Child Development Center" (the first child care facility in the nation for the development and growth of future white supremacists).

Local trailer home resident, and current mayor of Crestview Florida, Willie Rubbit, is quoted as having said, "Bubba is a man of the people. And I'm not just saying that because he's married to my cousin - and I'm not just saying that because she's his cousin too - what I mean is - what was I sayin? Yeah, he's a man of the people."


Locals believe it was Bubba's campaign slogan, "Elect Another DumbAss Prezodent - Vote BUBBA", that managed to capture the attention of voters.

When asked how he felt about the outcome of the election, including beating out incumbent, Jorge the local alligator, Bubba said, "Jorge is a good 'nuff gator, but you can speck I ain't gon' be eatin' none of the kids like he done did at the last RRR (Reading is Rong) Rally. The peoples can bet I'm gon work right hard to keep our way of life. Screw indoor tirlets...if God had meant for us to pee in a tirlet, he wouldn't have grew us so much grass."

The NAAGP (National Association for the Advancement for the Gator Population) are looking into what they call "funny ballots".

Jorge the alligator's commented after his loss: "SNARL..ROAR..GRRRR."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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