Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: China, Cuba, Fidel Castro

Friday, 21 November 2008

image for The Chinese President Meets Cuba's Fidel Castro
Fidel Castro shown celebrating his 101st birthday at Juanito & Paquito's Taquitos To-Go in Havana, Cuba

HAVANA, Cuba - Chinese President Hu Jintao recently visited Cuba. He spoke with the ex-Cuban leader Fidel Castro.

Hu Jintao was personally given a tour of Cuba by Castro himself. El presidente first pointed out that the Chevrolet Caprice that they were riding in had almost 2,000,000 miles on it.

He told Hu Jintao, "Since the American embargo we do not have any new cars. So as you can see, if you want to make a financial killing in Cuba, all you have to do is open up an auto parts store. My brother Raul, and I own 17 auto parts stores."

The Chinese President also visited the infamous Damn Hurricane Dinner Theater where famous Cuban-Americans like Desi Arnaz, Gloria Estefan, Daisy Fuentes, Andy Garcia, Cameron Diaz, and Dolly Parton have all performed.

President Hu Jintao also took a tour of the Cuban aircraft carrier the CS Senor Fidel Castro, an aircraft carrier that was purchased back in 1974 from Mexico for $6,000. In 1983, Cuba purchased two jets; one from Peru for $1,100 and one from Mark Cuban for $950.50.

The first jet was stolen on Halloween night of 1987 and the second jet was involved in a hit and run in 1989 and is still undergoing repairs. The reason that it has taken 19 years is because due to the American embargo the only tools that the Cuban navy has are three pliers, a hammer, two wrenches, and a stud finder (no not Cameron Diaz).

And last on the presidential tour was a visit to La Fabrica de Humo (The Smoke Factory) where the best cigars in the world are made. The cigar making process involves a total of 83 steps, 79 of which are secret. This is one of the few companies in the world that does not pay it's employees in cash. Instead, the workers are paid in cigars.

Castro drove Hu Jintao to The Lucy and Ricky Ricardo International Airport. Before boarding the jet to return back to Peking, China, Castro presented Hu Jintao with several parting gifts.

He gave him a bushel of the finest Cuban bananas, three boxes of the finest Cuban cigars, and a case of the finest Cuban rum. Hu Jintao presented Fidel Castro with a little bag of Chinese rice, a medium bag of Chinese rice, and a large bag of Chinese rice.

In other news, a team of professional oceanic searchers have found the wreck of the 13th century Icelandic galleon, The Gwendolyn Girl off the coast of Nova Scotia. The ship went down in a storm over 700 years ago. Divers reported that the Icelandic vessel was carrying a cargo of ice that was bound for Brazil.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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