In a speech this morning, president-elect Barack Obama announced that the federal government could save the country billions of dollars by out-sourcing government offices to Kenyans.
"We could balance our budget by 2012 without all these congressmen and their pork projects. My own half-brother could help and get a full $100 per year instead of his $12 per year in Kenya.
The move not only caught republicans off guard with their mouths hanging open but most democrats shat their pants and had to be helped out the door, several having their feet fly out from under them because of the mess on the floor.
"Also, to those who would threaten us when we bring our soldiers home and withdraw all these big business handouts, Americans would save enough to get a yearly tax rebate of $20,000 saved from the cost of pork alone", declared "That One"
Obama was then lifted upon the shoulders of Joe the Plumber and Joe Sixpack and carried out the door to the screams and applause from a grateful Nation.