ANNAPOLIS, Maryland - Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is not at all pleased with the remarks that Al-Qaida's number two leader Ayman Al-Zawahiri made about her, Barack Obama, and Colin Powell.
Al-Zawahiri called the three, 'house Negroes.' When Rice was asked about the Al Qaida leader's remarks she replied, "Okay, now first of all I have a BA degree, a Master's degree, and a PhD degree. I understand that Al-Zawahiri dropped out of the second grade. secondly, I dress immaculately. Al-Z looks like camel droppings."
Rice continued, "But, let's all just consider the source okay. The man wears a rancid beach towel on his head. He hasn't shaved since September of 1992, so he kind of looks like a 'Land of the Sand Fleas' version of ZZ Top.
His nose is twice as big as Jamie Farr's nose. He has a tattoo of Wisconsin on his forehead, he has botox ears, barbed wire teeth, and he smells like a 10-year-old Camel Cigarette. Next question?"
In other news, Phyllis Diller, 91, threw a surprise birthday party for Joan Rivers, 102, at the swank Beverly Hills Home for Out of the Limelight World War II Comediennes. Tony Bennett sang 'I Left My Heart In San Francisco' nine times. Guests were served ice cream, chocolate milk, and birthday cake soup.