Police have arrested a man on suspicion of endangerment to life, fraud, and obtaining money by deception. It appeared that his offer of 'forward time travel' was merely a ploy to dupe ignorant people who had failed basic science and philosophy at college.
One victim said "When I arrived, I paid the $5000 fee, and was escorted to a room where I was supplied with 8 litres of water, a bag of apples, toilet roll and an issue of 'The New York Post' (the last two were interchangable). Then I was asked to step into the 'Time Machine' and told that I would be transported forward in time, but due to technical difficulties, it would only be a week into the future.
Seven days later, when the wardrobe was unlocked by an activated timer, and I was released, I was greeted by a chorus of applause (taped off an episode of Jerry Springer I believe) and a banner reading 'Welcome to The Future' there was a note on the table explaining that whilst I'd been in the wardrobe, 7 days had elapsed in the outside world, and I should go out immediately and explore the state of 'Future Earth'.
After it sunk it that I had been duped, I crawled back in the wardrobe, cried, and prayed that Narnia would open and swallow me up'".
The dupester was arrested when a professional lockpicker on his annual leave went on the future experience, and broke out of the wardrobe, catching the dupester laughing his tits off on the floor, covered in bank notes.