BigLittleCock Texas - A cattle rancher employed at the sprawling Bush ranch in BigLittleCock Texas, has shockingly revealed that the Dubya's mother, Barbara Bush is twilighting as a high voodoo priestess.
'It only happened few weeks back' reveals 'Kurt'....'it was late one evening, the moon was high, and I was out in the shed, clearing the last of the cow turds, it had been a hard day, and I was looking forward to hitting the hay. I suddenly felt an almighty pain in my head, and a loud female voice, telling me 'FUCK the natural beauty son, DRILL, DRILL, take them for every damn cent!!'....I stumbled out of the shed, only to see Barbara Bush, dressed in a full length black cape and some kind of pvc bikini, clutching what looked like a doll in her hands....she seemed to be stabbing at its head!'
According to 'Kurt', Mrs George Snr Bush froze when she saw him stumbling towards her. She dropped the doll and sprinted back into the ranch. 'Kurt' was amazed as normally Mrs Bush needs a state of the art wheelchair, colostomy bag, saline drip and a fleet of nurses to even consider leaving her chintzy boudoir.
'I just could not believe my eyes' says 'Kurt', 'and to be honest, it put the fear of Jesus into my bones. Needless to say, I hurriedly packed my bags, and as day was breaking I made my escape and walked past this object that Mrs Bush had been grasping. I was amazed to see that it was figurine moulded in cow turd, with a few hairs poking from it's head, and what looked like nail clippings. It looked remarkably like her son Dubya! I'd been boning Russell in the turd heap the night before, so I reckon one of my pubes must have got into her 'turderine'!'
According to 'Kurt' the last he saw of Mrs Bush Snr almost resulted in his cardiac arrest....he says 'well, I was running and as I looked back, the door of the ranch opened, and Barbara Bush, she just FLEW out and floated towards me, her cape fell off and she was gaining speed, SCREECHING..oh so loud...'.
'Kurt' is currently receiving counselling, though he is quick to correct us that this is not for his voodoo ordeal, but for the sight of Mrs George Bush Snr floating towards him in a black pvc bikini....
Eddy Dubois, reporting for The Spoof.