Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 15 November 2008

image for Rev. Al Sharpton's "Non Profit" Granted Bank Status: Clears Way for Massive Tax Lien Bailout!
Sharpton's" Non Profit" Personal Piggy Bank Granted Official Status Eligible for "Bailout" Funds!

Washington,DC/Wall Street Journal - Playing the "Race Card" once again, it appears that the Rev. Al has found yet another way to avoid his tax obligations brought on by blatant misuse of his "Non Profit" community action groups specializing in extortion and confrontation.

In a deal orchestrated by "Share the Wealth" advocates, House Banking Chairman Barney "Fannie" Frank, Rep. John "Let's Make a Deal" Murtha, and House Ways and Means Tax Cheat Charles "who, me?" Wrangle (sic), it appears Treasury Secretary Paulson has been pressured into granting official banking status to Sharpton's personal piggy bank, The National Action Network, (NAN), making it eligible to receive a portion of the recent $700B bailout.

In a recent audit conducted by the FEC, it was found that during Sharpton's 2004 Presidential election campaign, the Rev. spent lavishly and failed to keep any records, despite the fact he received matching taxpayer funds for his ludicrous run for the Presidency. The report stated that Sharpton "made no effort to account" for the funds he scoffed up, and was responsible "for a complete failure to produce any information" on campaign funding.

To put this in perspective, consider that John McCain has had to lay aside over $9M to pay for a government mandated order to account for his recent matching fund campaign contributions, and that the audit is expected to last more than 3 years. Meanwhile, Obama, who relied on public contributions reaching over $658M will not be obligated to account for ANY of his campaign funds!

Anticipating massive taxpayer indignation over the bailout, the coalition of African-American Mayors Association (AAMA), made up of leaders of the nation's dysfunctional inner cities, have come to aid of Sharpton, saying in prepared statements that he didn't do anything wrong, and certainly nothing that they hadn't done themselves in decades of mismanagement, outright fraud and misappropriation of funds earmarked to help their constituents.

During the Sharpton campaign, he received cash contributions during his multitude of church revival meetings, where the money was classified as "love offerings" from his faithful.

Reports are now starting to circulate from disgruntled staffers, that much of that money was spent on uncontrolled shopping sprees for a personal wardrobe that included designer suits, handmade Italian loafers, Rolex watches, silk underwear, and a leopard skin smoking jacket. Staffers at the time said the clothes would be donated after the campaign, but that doesn't seem to be the case as reports have him lounging pool side at Wrangle's Dominican Love Nest in the jacket while being serviced by compliant cocktail waitresses, known as "Angels of God".

To date, the Rev. has an IRS lien of $931K, a city and state lien of $933K, a $500k obligation based on the recent audit, and a claim of over $1.9M in unpaid payroll taxes lodged against him.

In a ground swell of anger, a coalition of taxpayers are forming to combat this
abuse of power under the guise of racial entitlement.

Demanding equal rights , the groups of British -Americans, Irish- Americans, German-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Polish-Americans, French-Americans, (ed. note, well, maybe not them!), Canadian Americans....well, you get the idea, are banding together to fight what they say is reverse discrimination.

Obama's newly appointed Chief of Staff Israeli-American, Rahm Emanuel, known for his profanity, blew off the ground swell of indignation. "F***'em if they can't take a joke!" he ranted at a staff meeting, effectively shutting off any meaningful discussion of the growing crisis.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

6 11 10 4

Go to top