Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 November 2008

image for Secret Service Code Names: Sarah Palin - "McNuggets"
The Secret Service code name for Abraham Lincoln was 'Penny'

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Secret Service has just selected their code names for President-elect Barack Obama and his family.

Barack Obama's code name is 'Renegade.' His wife's code name is 'Renaissance. Eldest daughter Malia is 'Radiance,' and youngest daughter Sasha is 'Rosebud.'

The code names of the two GOP candidates and their spouses have also been revealed. John McCain's code name is 'Rip Van Wrinkle' and his wife Cindy's code name is 'Beer Babe.' Sarah Palin has been assigned the name 'McNuggets' and her husband Todd is 'Snowballs.'

Senator Joe Biden's code name is 'Rogaine' and his wife Jill has been assigned the code name 'Repunsel.'

Keegan Buckingham, Jr., a writer for the magazine, The Right Coast Right-of-Way Monthly did some research and found some other secret service code names from the past.

  • George H. W. Bush - Pebble Beach
  • George W. Bush - Son of a Beach
  • Dick Cheney - Buckshot
  • Bill Clinton - The Cigar King
  • Hillary Clinton - The Ozark Queen
  • Gerald Ford - Mustang
  • Donald Rumsfeld - El Estupido
  • Condeleezza Rice - Ben's Niece
  • Hubert Humphrey - Humpty Dumpty
  • Herbert Hoover - Vacuum Cleaner
  • Grover Cleveland - Cincinnati
  • Abraham Lincoln - Penny
  • George Washington - Dollar Bill

In other news, the town of Winnetka, Illinois, where Donald Rumsfeld grew up, has named an elementary school in his honor. However, there was a mistake at the sign company and the school name actually reads: Ronald Dumsfeld. The school board voted 5 to 4 to leave the name as it is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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