WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced during a press conference this morning that Congress has approved a $870 billion bailout plan for major oil companies. Over the past six weeks, the cost of oil has plummeted to nearly a third of its record high in August. This has been caused by a reduced demand of gasoline and less people buying home heating oil, instead choosing to set fire to their houses for warmth.
Some of the companies to benefit from this new bailout are: Exxon/Mobil, Gulf, Chevron, BP, Hess, Valero, and several others. "I know I've made a few mistakes these past eight years," Bush was quoted as saying, "but I feel like this is definitely one of the smarter moves I've made, ergonomically speaking. I mean economically speaking."
Wall Street has expressed outrage over this new bailout plan, primarily because they were only given $700 billion of taxpayers' money. A White House aide who asked to remain anonymous was quoted as saying, "Congress hopes that the amount of funding of these bailouts will eclipse the Iraq experiment and eventually people will forget about that folly." More on this story as it develops.