Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Thursday, 13 November 2008

image for Barack Obama's success putting pressure on All African-American men to be like him
Barack Obama putting the pressure on the everyday man to be more than he can be

Washington, D,C. - As the cheers and adulation have quieted down in the days and weeks following the historical election of Barack Obama, America's first Black president-elect, a harsh cold reality sets into African-American communities everywhere, haunting the Black man with the words: "Why can't you be like Obama?"

"I just don't get it," says Mr. Paul Johnson an African-American in a post Obama world. "Last week my wife and I were celebrating Obama's success, hugging, crying and kissing each other. This week I'm sleeping on the couch."

The argument all started the day after Barack Obama became America's first Black President-elect. Mrs. Johnson began complaining to Mr. Johnson that if I he had tried hard enough like Obama, she would be sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom like Michelle Obama.

"I tried to explain to her that that's not where the President and the First Lady necessarily sleep," said Mr. Johnson. "That they have a separate bedroom. But that only made it worst because then she said, 'Oh, you want a separate bedroom, do you? Well, I can arrange that. Don't you dare be tell me where I can sleep in my White House.' That's when she through me out of our bedroom and onto the living room couch."

From across American in African-American homes everywhere, the same words are echoing from dinning rooms, bedrooms and living rooms alike: "Why can you lose some weight to look like Obama? Why can't you be taller like Obama? Don't be slouching your shoulders like that all the time, stand up straight like Obama."

For the first time ever, since the Emancipation Proclamation, African-American fathers and sons are once again sharing a common yoke of oppression, experiencing intergenerational browbeating at the hands of their spouses and mothers alike.

"Before my mama just used to irritate me with a hypothetical question like 'What would Jesus do?' to guilt me into making the right decision," says Matthew, a 12-year-old African-American boy. "Now she says to me, 'Think! Would Obama do that?' So I told her, 'I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?' Ever since then my Daddy and me have been bunking together on the sofa in the living room. It's not too bad because we pretend it's a fort. Especially, when mama walks in to tell us what Obama did today."

"Obama maybe the winner," said Mr. Johnson from his living room couch. "But Black males are the greatest losers for it - Quick Daddy! Get into the fortress. I think I hear mama coming."

Unfortunately, Obama's success has spread to other minority groups as males in Latino, Asian, and poor White communities are reporting being pressured to perform like the new president-elect as well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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