Written by The Pharoe
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Monday, 7 June 2004

image for Bush Mistakes Monkey for Osama, Monkeys Arrested
A naked monkey appears to be humiliated at an Iraqi Prison

Washington D.C. - Animal rights activists gathered in the country's Capitol upon hearing that President Bush had mistaken a family of Peruvian monkeys for Osama Bin Laden and his followers. The primates were transported to an Iraqi prison where they have been held for questioning. Reports of monkey prisoner abuse arose when pictures of the naked monkeys were published by the New York Times. In the pictures the guards appear to be humiliating the naked monkeys.

At a White House briefing, Condolesa Rice stated that there was "credible evidence" that the monkeys could have been involved with the terrorists tied to the 9-11 attacks on the U.S. However, according to an internal source, who spoke under anonymity, President Bush had mistaken the Peruvian monkeys for Osama and his gang after watching a special on Animal Planet. No word yet on which special it was but experts speculate it was the "Peruvian Monkeys Are Not Terrorists" special, which aired last Saturday on Animal Planet during mid-day.

The animal rights activists protested the captivity of the monkeys and chanted creative slogans. "You're Stupid Bush", "Monkey's are People Too", and "How would you like it if you were a monkey and were put in captivity with your family after being taken from your nice home in Peru" were some of the chants used. When the relatives of the monkeys were reached for comment in Peru they stated "oooh, aggg, oooh ooohg oohg, aahhh, ooogh ooogh, ahhhh", a statement echoed by other members of the monkey community.

Filmmaker Michael Moore said he is currently working on a documentary that ties the Bush family to the family of Peruvian monkeys. A White House spokesperson called Moore's claims as "ludicrous and unfounded".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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