Detroit,Mi/ Auto Times - Reversing an earlier decision to look Presidential and frugal in his "Pimp My Ride" Yugo Limo featured earlier in The Spoof, the President Elect instead ordered up the "Mother of All Limos" according to Chief of Staff Rahm "F****g" Emanuel.
Obama dismissed his fickleness by reiterating his platform of "Change", where he can CHANGE his mind at will. Staffers said he was assigning the Yugo Mobile to VP Joe Biden, who he said would turn out to be "just as reliable!"
The new ride, based on a GM 3500 Series dually heavy hauler, will be the last vehicle off the bankrupt GM assembly line in Detroit. Overall wheel length will be stretched to 32 feet, 10' over the standard chassis.
Overall width is being increased to 9'6", the minimum standard allowed to travel on the nation's highways without being classified as a hazard requiring front and rear emergency vehicles with flashing lights. The President Elect also mentioned in passing that his wife did not want to be classified as an "oversized load" while visiting HER relatives.
The exterior is being finished in 35 coats of hand rubbed gloss black lacquer, with the interior being sheathed with hand tanned Zebra skins personally supplied by Kenyan family members. The color scheme of alternating black and white adequately reflects his universal popularity by all races.
Under the hood the last NASCAR racing engine ever produced will be fitted.
The V-10 Viper performance mill was requisitioned from Chrysler just before the doors closed for good on Veterans Day. The 7.2 liter, dual supercharged engine will be capable of moving the 10 ton (20k pound) limo from 0-60 in about 10 seconds, acceptable considering the weight.
Loaded with security features the windows are to be 10" shatterproof safety glass, and body armor to be a combination of Teflon and Titanium which did help reduce the weight somewhat for better performance.
As more and more Obama relatives turn up, the latest a group of Bedouins from Israel, Hussein wanted to insure he could accommodate a sizable family town hall meeting group when he travels around the world seeking out "his blood" and had a pit group couch capable of handling 35 natives installed.
The Obama "Meet Your Brother" tour, sponsored by ACORN, the affirmative action group founded to reunite fathers with their illegitimate and abandoned off spring , has a budget of $150M left over from the Obama Presidential campaign.
Rounding out the rotund body of the Presidential Mover are two Korean War 500 gallon aviation drop tanks salvaged from antique F-86 fighter jets enabling the President to travel from Syria to Iran non stop as he retraces his Bedouin roots and conducts his personal international policies of appeasement.
In addition to 2 companies of Obama's newly formed armed Civilian Defense Group, he has tapped current NJ Governor John Corzine to be his limo driver due to his recent experience of traveling at high speeds on the NJ Turnpike without wearing a seat belt.
The Governor, now fully recovered from the spectacular crash, except for facial tics, said he is ready to keep both hands on the wheel piloting the new "Obamamobile" and unlike the NJ economy he wrecked, keep the limo from "going wheels up!"