Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Sarah Palin

Thursday, 13 November 2008

image for Sarah Palin's List of Ten Things To Do
Sarah Palin relaxing in her backyard (the blonde wig was a gift from Cindy McCain)

WASILLA, Alaska - Now that Governor Sarah Palin is back in her home state of Alaska she was asked to list the ten things that she is really looking forward to doing.

Governor Palin said that she wants everyone to know how much she appreciates their wonderful emails, post cards, cell phone calls, and personal checks - which, as of 11/13/08, totaled $47,791.45.

She especially wants to thank the 'Officers' Wives' Club' at Crazy Horse Air Force Base in Missoula, Montana for that beautiful 10 foot by 10 foot hand-sewn quilt depicting her stocking a full-grown polar bear while clad in just a pink bikini swimsuit and armed with only a Baskin-Robbins sample plastic spoon.

Here is the full list of things the Governor is looking forward to:

  1. Help the kids make a new snowman.
  2. Have a nice quite romantic salmon barbecue dinner with just Toddy and me.
  3. Shoot a moose from a helicopter.
  4. Stop wearing dresses 24/7 and get back to wearing my old, skin-tight, blue jeans.
  5. Read up on the continent of Africa.
  6. Shoot a caribou from a helicopter.
  7. Take the dog-sled out for a run to pick up a 12-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper.
  8. Find some time to begin writing my future best seller about my experiences in running as the 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate. The book's working title is, 'Johnny Did Not Lose The Election Because of Sarah, Johnny Lost The Election Because of Johnny.'
  9. Shoot a reindeer from a helicopter.
  10. Shoot another moose from a helicopter, but this time while wearing a blindfold.

In other news, Vanessa Spinmeister, the 95 pound woman from Thule, Greenland who gave birth to a baby that weighed 38 pounds back in April, 2008, has just written a book about the unbelievable experience. The book is entitled, 'OUCH!!!!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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