Vice presidential loser Sarah Palin says she and pop singer Madonna shared many intimate moments together during the crazy days of the early 1980's.
"We had so much in common back then. We both had big, bleached bouffant hairstyles, both wore pink woolly leg warmers and enjoyed playing arcade games like Outrun and Double Dragon", said the Republican loony.
The two lived together for a short while in a New York apartment overlooking trendy disco dive 'Heebiejeebies'.
"Madonna and I weren't real lesbians or anything like that", smiles Palin, " we just liked each other's company while naked in the shower in various bizarre positions".
The duo's romance ended when Palin saw a rare New York moose wandering aimlessly in Central Park - apparently under the influence of smack.
"Something inside me said 'Kill! Kill! Kill'", remembers Palin, "so I blew that motherfuckers head off with the Uzi I kept in my underwear.
"Madonna looked at me with hatred. She knew she was no longer the butch one. I realized right there and then that it was over between us".