Washington, D.C.* - Secret service agents on their way to the gym early yesterday morning, spotted a tall, lean black man running through the streets of Washington.
Recognizing that he was none other than President-elect Barack Obama out jogging -- the only candidate who smokes while jogging, though Sarah Palin was rumored to enjoy a good Marlboro after a race with Todd -- they invited him to the secure gym, where he'll be working out as President, and briefed the President-elect on the latest classified security gym equipment.
Barack later told reporters: "I was quite impressed. All the equipment, even the treadmills, were absolutely silent. However, the displays were blank. All of them. Didn't show a damn thing. I needed the secret display code. So, I called the President. I mean, the old one. Not the new one. Not me. The new President. Elect. Me. President-Elect... Stop it, Michelle! I'm the President-elect now, and I can speak at my own damn pace. Now go get to work on that White House menu, woman... OUCH!..."
* D.C. - District of Change