CHICAGO, Illinois - Michelle Obama's husband has achieved what millions of Republicans, white collar workers, silk collar workers, KKK's, XYZ's, military families, NASCAR fans, rodeo fans, carnival sideshow workers, and holier-than-thou preachers never ever imagined they would see.
Barack Obama, Michelle's husband, has just been elected President of the United States, which makes Michelle Obama the soon-to-be nation's 'First Mama.'
And her husband Barack could not be prouder. He has already told her to change everything in the White House. In fact, he personally called President Bush and told him to be sure and load up everything into the U'Hauls. Obama said, "And don't you be leaving nothin' behind, because whatever you don't take will be goin' in the trash can."
Bush reportedly asked, "Even the wonderful portrait of me on that national guard vehicle riding into the flooded streets of New Orleans? You know the one that looks like the cavalry coming to the rescue even though it was a full four or five days after Hurricane Katrina had hit.'
And Obama replied, "Yes, especially THAT damn picture."
Michelle Obama has recently been spotted in the linen department at Target. She has also picked up some great bargains at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, J.C. Penny, and Dollar General.
Mrs. Obama has always prided herself in being a frugal shopper. Her husband has said, "The woman is fabulous in the kitchen. She can take a can of lima beans, a can of tuna fish, and some paprika, mix it all up and if you closed your eyes you'd swear that you were eating a ribeye steak.
Michelle can also clean the bathtub, while showering, and reading a recipe book. I don't know how she does it, but she does."
In related news, the two new 'First Kids,' Malia and Sasha, say that they can hardly wait to move into the White House. Malia said that her 'Aunt Oprah' is having a 900 square foot playhouse built especially for them. The playhouse is an exact minature replica of the nation's White House and it will be guarded by two secret service agents around the clock.