TOXIC BOG, New Jersey - In a stunning development today, the EPA obtained an injunction from the Supreme Court shuttering the FDA, a prominent part of the United States Government.
Dazed FDA officials wandered about the streets, looking for a government issued desk to sit behind. But, surprisingly, all they found were sick, dazed, homeless people, carrying bottles of aspartame laced water in brown paper sacks, staggering around, chewing aspartame laced gum.
The first sign of trouble was all the fish dying in Lake Oimichingbad. Then, when swimmers started developing boils and green blotches inside their mouths, the EPA was called to the scene at Lake Oimichingbad.
A team of ten EPA scientists showed up in full protective suits and analyzed the water in Lake Oimichingbad, a lake that is fed by the runoff from the town water treatment plant.
What they found stunned and alarmed them. The lake had been badly polluted by sewage which was in turn badly polluted by dangerous drugs such as aspartame byproducts, and other drugs, all FDA approved.
Yes, this was a town where no illegal drugs were ever taken! You read about it here first!
The EPA then realized.. if this stuff is bad for the environment why are we letting the FDA feed it to people?
Once presented with the facts, the Supremes acted quickly, signing in unison.