Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 6 November 2008

image for Louis Farrakhan, Head of Nation of Islam, Cheers Obama Election
Farrakhan also wants The Statue of Liberty's torch replaced with an Islamic symbol.

The Reverend Louis Farrakhan, head of the Nation of Islam, a U.S. based Moslem movement, cheered the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States.

"We done got ourselves a brotha in da White House," said an excited Farrakhan. "That home of cracker oppression about to get a paint job and a new name!"

The religious leader said in a statement from California that he was so happy that "I thought I died and gone to heaven, but I couldn't find no 72 virgins out here in Los Angeles."

Farrakhan said that he was scheduled to hold a private meeting with Obama on Friday, where he would ask for the following concessions to the Black Moslem movement that helped to get the Chicago Senator elected:

  • Air Force One would be painted purple and "get itself all pimped out."
  • The Koran would replace the Bible as the book used in courts for swearing in.
  • All baseball players, not just catchers, would be required to wear their caps upside-down and either sideways or backwards.
  • The United States would pull all troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan and invade Israel.
  • All government forms would also be printed in Arabic
  • Ebonics would quickly replace English as the official language taught in schools.
  • Oprah Winfrey would be crowned Queen of the United States upon the end of Obama's second term.
  • Bootylicious would be a requirement for all beauty pageant contestants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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