Newly elected United States President Barack Obama named several cabinet selections today.
The nominees will need senate approval before taking office, but this should be no problem as the Senate has a Democratic Party majority.
Among those tapped for offices, along with comments by the new President, are:
Housing Secretary: Ernie Keebler. "I like this little guy. He's also going to be the only cracker in my cabinet. Since he lives in a hollow tree, he should be able to help lots of homeless folks with creative housing ideas."
Labor Secretary: Reverend Al Sharpton. "He's never done a day's worth of labor in his life, so it's about time he earns his keep."
Secretary of Agriculture: Oprah Winfrey. "She helped buy me my office, and since she knows so much about mad cow disease..."
Education Secretary: Snoop Dog ("or whatever name he be usin' these days"). "He's probably going to try to change the official language of this country to ebonics, but what the shizzle?"
Secretary of the Interior: Reverend Jesse Jackson. "This pasty faced brother obviously likes being inside, cuz he looks like he needs some sun. We'll keep him indoors."
Secretary of Defense: Charles Barkley. "Where else do you put the round mound of rebound?"
Secretary of State: Aretha Franklin. "...and you boys better show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!"