WASHINGTON D.C. - President-elect Barack Obama told Larry King that he will be naming Oprah Winfrey to be his Secretary of the Treasury.
Obama said, "Not only is Ms. Winfrey one of the most honest persons that I have ever known, she is also one of the smartest and richest. And as everyone knows honesty, intelligence, and wealth are three solid requirements for the job of Treasury Secretary."
King asked Obama if the fact that she is one of the richest women in the world and has her own nationwide television show had anything to do with his decision. Obama smiled and replied, "Well fundamentally, my answer would have to be a resounding 'you betcha.'"
Obama was then asked if he had thought about possibly asking Ms. Winfrey for a loan to the United States Government. He stated that he had already talked to her about that possibility and that she had agreed to lend the country as much money as it needed and at zero percent interest.
Ms. Winfrey added, "But now I do have one stipulation. And that is that my long time companion Stedman Graham be given a job as my assistant." Winfrey smiled and said, "That way Stedman and I will be able to see each other every day and we will be able to have lunch together." Obama quickly agreed to her request.
President-elect Obama did tell Larry King that he had received two phone calls from other individuals who each requested the Treasury Secretary position. Obama said that Donald Trump called him but that he had rejected his offer because Trump requested a tremendously high salary, along with his own governmental yacht, and unlimited use of the White House hair stylist.
The other person who wanted the job was Bill Gates. Mr. Gates was rejected because he wanted the Secretary of the Treasury's office to be moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, Washington.
In related news, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, both Fox News personalities and staunch GOP supporters were reportedly seen walking aimlessly around Central Park muttering to themselves, 'What the heck are we going to do now?'